Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
