There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
i need some magic done to my vagina
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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