Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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