So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
