Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
