I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
