It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
