Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
How does one acquire holy water?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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