you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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