i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
