Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
