STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
