As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
