Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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