That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Porn is love you can see.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
