Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
