If that was your dad, he is hot
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
