Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You took a bar mat shot.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
