at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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