The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
