if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I have tasted many bathrooms
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize