I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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