I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
