Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
be right there i have to get my cape
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
