Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
