wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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