quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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