you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You pole danced in your parka.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
