good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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