I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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