so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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