I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
