What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
