She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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