Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
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He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
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Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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