it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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