carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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