My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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