Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
