how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
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everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
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How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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