don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
