There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Randomize
