Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
