He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
