Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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