didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
