did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
