it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
