Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
