everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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