"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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