Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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