Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I think your dad took our porno
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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