I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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