I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
