I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
