You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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