i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
