Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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