apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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